This morning I did the last proofread on the dyslexia project and sent that in. It was an ideal project, easy formatting, clear text, interesting subject matter. I wish they were all like that! The best part is I was able to finish in 5 days. Hey, $4,000 for 5 days work, not too bad!!!
So today I had an unexpected day off, just a few small work projects. I cleaned a bit, took the dogs for a walk in the very, very hot weather. It is in the low 90s, but with the heat index (counter in the humidity) they say it is more like in the low 100s. Very steamy indeed!
With suddenly having some free time I started thinking about the upcoming surgery again. I am happy to do it, since I know it is the right choice. Not only because the available treatments no longer work, but they say that after 10 years of ulcerative colitis you are at a dangerous high level of developing colon cancer. It would be difficult to monitor with colonoscopies alone, since that test only take random samples of the tissue, and it would be far too easy to miss precancerous cells. Dysplasia, the occurrence of precancerous cells, is usually an indicator for a colectomy, that is, a complete removal of the colon. And considering I have had UC for over 20 years and already shows signs of granulomas, the pre- precancerous stage... That would be a second strong reason to do it.
But of course I can't help worrying about it. It is after all very major surgery. I was reading some of the material I have received, and I was happy to see they had included some information of what to expect right before (as in the hospital), during and immediately after the surgery. So you don't freak out when you wake up.
So what I can expect happening when I wake up is that it will feel like I "got hit by a 18-wheeler truck" like a fellow UC patient who recently underwent the same surgery so bluntly said to me!
More, I will have all kinds of tubes and hoses in me. Of course there will be the IV. I will also get either an epidural for post op pain relief, or a morphine pump. I rather have the pump since the epidural makes you feel totally numb from waist down. Then there will be the oh so wonderful nasal gastric tube, that goes into your nose down into your stomach, mainly to remove anything from the stomach (to prevent nausea and vomiting, very common otherwise) I will also have a urine catheter, since the bladder will get traumatized and usually seize functioning for a few days (plus it will be almost impossible to get out of bed). I will get two drain hoses from inside my stomach to drain post op fluid and blood. Then the most lovely thing of all, an anal drain that will go into the newly constructed pouch to drain it of fluids and blood. Yummy!
I am sure it will be very painful, and I have no illusions of getting up and dancing around any time soon. I just hope I can be one of the average J-pouchers that can go home after 5-7 days without complications.
Sarah has always been used to going with me to different doctor's appointments, she even sat through a few biopsies (by mistake) when they cut off a few moles, and if anything she is very interested in anything medical. She loves seeing her doctor and be examined, and she loves reading (real) anatomy books which shows the body in different ways. She knows all about veins, skeletons and nerves. Probably pretty unusual for a 4-year old I think. So I have been prepping her about my impending hospital stay. I told her about what the doctor is doing (she already knew mommy has a bad tummy with a nasty boo boo inside), and how it will be just afterwards. To make sure she doesn't get worried we looked at photos of a person who just had the surgery, so she knows how I will look in the hospital, how my temporary ileostomy will look like. We came to the conclusion the little red knob sticking out, that is, the stoma, sure looks like a dogs little red penis, that was NOT my suggestion, she just thought the picture looked just like Bob the dog's penis when he licks himself, and she sure is right, it does look like a little red dog penis! Things that comes out of little kids mouths'... ;-) So I think she is pretty prepared, not to mention she is not unfamiliar with a medical environment or mommy being sick, so I think she will be just fine.
I will try to document the surgery and the post op experience here, most for my own sake so I can go back and compare and see if I have any progress in the recovery, which I hope I sure will, of course! I even asked the doc to take a picture of the colon after they rip it out; I just really want to see the fucker who has messed with me for so many years... ;-)
3 comments:
You sure seem to have done your research. There should be less surprises for you now.
So you want to see the demon colon?! Ha!
I asked to see the placenta after my first delivery and promply threw up! Lol!(Can't beleive some cultures eat it!!)
I must admit I am pretty squeamish but those pictures of that guy you showed on the other blog didn't look as bad as I had thought.
I think with your attitude you will probably have a more rapid recovery than some. From what you said about your little girl it seems she is growing up not to be afraid of being ill. The dog penis thing is so funny!
Du har ju helt rätt inställning och du har gjort allt du har kunnat för att förbereda dig och din dotter (och, misstänker jag, din make) - så jag tror att det kommer att gå kanske t o m bättre än vad du tror nu. Att ha din syster där som tar hand om hushållet (med förmodligen världshistoriens bäst skrivna manualer) gör ju att du kan koncentrera dig på att bli bättre.
Du har ju varit dålig i så många år, och har varit patient så mycket så du vet ju hur det funkar. Mina läkares största problem då jag gick igenom en äggstockscancer för drygt tio år sedan var att jag VÄGRADE att känna mig som en patient! Men det funkade också...för mig, iallafall.
Jag har en känsla av att du kommer att klara detta galant. Inte alla dagar och inte hela dagarna, men i stort - och det är det som räknas. Sedan kommer du ju att uppleva SÅ stor lättnad när kroppen läkt ihop lite och du helt plötsligt inser hur det är att inte vara dålig!! Jovisst, lite extra pyssel blir det ju, men du kommer ju inte att ha ont! Du kan äta lite mer vad du vill. Du behöver inte planera "runt" din mage och dess behov på samma sätt.
Och framförallt - ingen ond rumpa från för många och täta diarèeanfall. Folk som inte upplevt det vet ju inte vad du kämpat med.
Allt detta för att säga - detta kommer du att fixa galant! Kram!
Tack! Jag tror att om man är inställd på det värsta och är väl informerad, så kanske man blir trevligt överraskad i stället! Det brukar vara så.
Post a Comment